\\\\\\\\\\ Welcome to ~AIKEN DRUM'S~ * a laugh a day *//////////

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This is a humor list that brings you 4 CLEAN jokes daily. If this was
forwarded to you and you want to receive your own * a laugh a day *
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I bet ya' didn't know:
The stalk-eyed fly (diopsida) of the tropics has its eyes
at the tips of 2 long antennae.
---------------------------
The agave plant of Brazil has its only leaves on the ground,
but its stem grows to a height of 30 feet.  It dies as soon
as it reaches its full height.



1. Constant Bickering
-----------------------------------
 Three monks of the Trappist order, which has a rule of silence,
asked the abbot's permission to speak with one another.  The
abbot granted the oldest monk privilege to speak one sentence
that year on a coming feast day.  He granted the youngest the
right to speak one sentence on that feast day one year later.
The third brother was to wait still another year for his feast
day privilege.

   Following breakfast the first year the oldest monk said, "I
hate oatmeal."

   A year went by and after breakfast the youngest brother said,
"I like oatmeal."

   Another year passed and the third monk said, "I'm getting
awfully tired of this constant bickering over oatmeal!"





2. Freud
----------------------------------
One day there was a priest sitting in a pew with a
very worried and nervous look, and another priest
saw him and wondered what was wrong.

The second priest thought he should try to help, so
he approached his distraught associate and asked him
what was wrong. "Well" the first priest said, "have you
ever heard of a Freudian Slip?"

"No," said the other priest.

"Well" said the first priest, "it's when one slips and
says something one is thinking usually when it is the
least opportune time."

"Oh," said the second priest, "so, what happened?"

"Well, today I performed a wedding and you know the
part when you say 'I now pronounce you man and wife'?"
asked the first priest.

"Yes?" said the second priest. "Well that is what I
meant to say, and what I actually said was,
"I now sentence you to death."


Cartoon O' The Day:
-------------------
http://hee-hee.com/pg1pi7.asp?RG=1&RI=1

Click Here



3. Negotiations
---------------------------------
 Negotiations between union members and their employer were
at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were
flagrantly abusing their contract's sick-leave provisions.

 One morning at the bargaining table, the company's chief
negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper,
"This man," he announced, "called in sick yesterday!"

 There on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly
ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with
an excellent score.

 The silence in the room was broken by a union negotiator.
"Wow," he said. "Think of what kind of score he could have
had if he hadn't been sick!"

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Things that make you go Hmmm....
Why do people in church or on public transport ALWAYS
sit in the same seats? --Lady Maria

"Instructions For Life"
If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy man
- he will find an easier way to do it. --Lady Tammy


Thanx!
~AIKEN DRUM~
*grin* It makes "them" wonder!

Bonus Joke:
 "Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases
in New York City," says David Letterman.  "One is, 'Hey, taxi!'
Two is, 'What train do I take to get to Bloomingdale's?'
And three is, 'Don't worry, it's only a flesh wound.' "